This is Fantasy Phineball from Feeling Phine. The last post in this series can be found here. Thanks for tuning in! x
Hello, my fellow football lovers and foes. I hope you’ve had an excellent holiday season thus far! Did you miss me?
I took a little break from the letter for a variety of boring reasons (namely, increased work hours around Christmas time, family gatherings, festivities, etc) but the inciting incident that commenced my two week absence was… a kidnapping. There I was, at our civilized Annual Bestie Christmas Dinner, when Kayla said I should come over afterwards to meet her boyfriend’s “hot single friends” who were in town for the holidays.
“But,” I protested, “I need to get home and finish the newsletter tonight.” Kayla, a master in the fine art of convincing, had several responses at the ready:
1) “You’re consistent with the newsletter, it’s okay if you miss one week!”
2) “I’m getting sooooo many holiday emails from brands right now - better to send it after Christmas.”
3) “{Redacted} and {Redacted} are NEVER in California, you need to meet them while they’re here!”
So did I ditch my newsletter in order to party and meet dudes? Indeed, I did.
But I did it in the name of ART. If I don’t give into spontaneity once in a while, then I won’t have anything fresh to write about. My yolo night off and the hungover day that followed shall henceforth be referred to as “sabbatical.”
Anyway let’s talk about the boys that are more pertinent to THIS newsletter: MY BOYS aka Team MéNajee Trois.
WEEK FOURTEEN
A refresher: at the end of Week Thirteen I was 6th in the league with a shot at playoffs (only the top four teams make it in.) Thursday night’s game kicking off Week Fourteen was the Steelers vs Vikings. My team is Steelers-heavy, with D. Johnson as my Wide Receiver and my man Najée as my star Running Back.
Xiang and I watched the game together on Discord. We jumped in on a fairly painful starting point in the second quarter: the Vikings were leading 17-0. The Steelers made an impressive comeback in the second half though! Najée shone bright like a diamond, once again exceeding his point projection (23.90 achieved vs. 16.22) and thus reaffirming why this team carries his name.
The football game was exciting, but the true highlights of the evening were the commercial breaks; instead of tuning into the usual pick-up truck, fast-food, and car insurance ads, I was treated to something far more spectacular: videos of Xiang ballroom dancing.
Xiang recently participated in his dance studio’s winter showcase. I like to think I have a firm grip on the written word, a certain capacity to wrangle and bend vocabulary towards my descriptive will, but I admit I can’t quite describe the marvel of Xiang dancing salsa and cha cha. You just have to see for yourself. (Xiang can be found doing his thang on the left side of each formation.)
Week fourteen ended with a dub against Tanya’s Top-Notch Team, putting MéNajee Trois in a titillating FIFTH place in the league. I could almost taste the playoffs.
WEEK FIFTEEN
Earlier this fall, my godfather very kindly invited me to go to a LA Rams game with him and his kids (my god...siblings?). The occasion was scheduled for Sunday the 19th December. Then, le coco (Covid, per Maman) infiltrated and ravaged the NFL.
Friday before the scheduled match, 29 of the Rams were out with Covid, so the NFL postponed the game until Tuesday. How delaying the game by TWO days allowed a full team to suddenly heal from Covid is beyond me… anyway, less questioning, more recapping.
The reschedule and wait was worth it. THIS GAME HAD EVERYTHING:
Seattle’s finest human Seahawks
Kettle corn
Heavy defense in the first half
One rambunctious Seahawks fan in our section, yelling at the ref
32 oz souvenir cups filled with Mountain Dew
A ladies’ bathroom line that was shorter than the men’s. (The first time in my life I’ve witnessed such a miracle!)
Stress eating opportunities
Drunk people who had clearly been tailgating since 10 AM
OBJ
My godsister stabbing me in the eye whilst enthusiastically waving her Rams flag
Cheese pizza
A perfect pass from Rams QB Stafford to WR Cooper Kupp, leading to the latter’s touchdown
A home game WIN for the Rams!
Football is great on TV, as you get to see the action up close and in slow mo thanks to HD cameras; seeing it with your own eyeballs from above the field provides a whole different perspective though. For the first time I noticed how the other non-star players spread through the field and worked together to defend, drive, etc.
In my very limited experience watching football at home, I’ve found I’m generally happy when the team I’m cheering for scores a touchdown. That fledgling happiness was nothing in comparison to the pure euphoria of witnessing a touchdown live. Cheering and screaming along with my adopted family, and thousands of other fans, was a shared joy I haven’t experienced since ~the before times~, when I’d last attended a concert. Watching the game in that glorious stadium was a welcome tonic for the soul. I loved every minute, even those punctuated by the annoying Seahawks fan.
Shoutout to Brian, best godfather ever! Thank you for bringing me along for the fun :)
Adding the cherry on top to a fantastic evening, my team scraped by and beat Olivia’s Unmatched Team by .76 points!
But, did scrappy MéNajee Trois make it to playoffs?
Purposely leaving you on a cliffhanger,
Joséphine
Chris almost went to that game!